By Lucy Wyndham

With the highest Covid-19 figures in the USA, in Dakota the pandemic has forced many people to spend a lot more time at home – and that’s something that’s had a huge impact on relationships.

Whilst you might be tempted to assume that this impact is largely negative, it seems the opposite is actually true, and the Washington Post report that divorce rates in 2020 are actually lower than in previous years. So how is the pandemic helping people come together, and what does it mean both for people already in relationships, and those that are actively looking for a new love interest?

The big relationship picture

The reduction in divorce rates doesn’t necessarily correlate to a reduction in relationship issues – in fact, it’s estimated that around a third of couples have undergone traumatic stress during 2020, and that’s a pretty big number! Unexpected homeschooling demands, job losses, altered ways of working, lockdown malaise, and for many, the illness or death of loved ones have resulted in elevated levels of negative emotions and conflict leading to struggle and arguments. Many experts speculate that the drop in divorces might have been due to the difficulty in actually getting a divorce during lockdown – but this theory has been rebutted by other research that suggests that actually, couples are developing a new understanding and appreciation of their partner which is fueled by the need to stick together and find joy in the little things.

Moving on up

Social isolation is on the rise as more and more restrictions have been put in place to limit social contact with others – and many people have found that social distancing has led to them thinking about ex-partners or former friends that in some cases comes from a place of genuine care, but in others stems from loneliness, boredom, or an ever-increasing awareness of mortality. The usual rules have been replaced – whereas previously, you may have had a clear code governing contact, or no will to reconnect, the current extraordinary circumstances have impacted on ordinarily lucid thinking.

It can be hard to imagine getting over an ex if you’re still single, or in a new  relationship that is struggling due to pandemic stress and you yearn for something more comfortable and familiar – but it’s worth remembering that there is a reason an ex-friend or partner is an ex, and it is better to think positive and reinvent yourself in your new life than to go back to being unhappy in an old one.

Positive focus

For many people, being forced to spend more time with loved ones has – in amongst the inevitable periods of stress – led to an increase in communication, spending quality time together, and improved patience and understanding for annoying little habits that might previously have caused more major issues. People who surround themselves with positive relationships (the ones with the people who actually care about them) rather than superficial friendships, drama, and one-way interactions based on usefulness rather than care (we all have those ‘friends’ that only pop up when they need something) are finding that their mental health and wellbeing is improved, according to TIME magazine.

This is not a new phenomenon, but the pandemic has allowed more and more people to discover the benefits of allocating time and effort to the relationships in life that really matter, and not worrying about the rest.

The changes in the way we view relationships look set to continue, with people finding new ways to come together and support each other in these times of shared stressful experiences. Thinking carefully about the relationships in your own life, good and bad, can help you to surround yourself with people who will provide support, improving your life for the better in the areas you can control, and helping you deal better with the areas you can’t.